Oh wow. Ohhhhhh wow. Wow.
Okay, everyone - go read Max Landis’ script for Super Mario World. It was written by Landis (most well-known for writing the found-footage superhero film Chronicle and for being the son of director John Landis) at the young age of 19. And it’s bad. Thankfully, he’s aware of how bad it is - the script contains a foreword that details all of the problems with the script and is immensely self-deprecating and self-critical throughout.